Ahhhhhhhh...

I'm feeling much better this afternoon than when I "woke up" this morning. Truth is, I didn't sleep much at all because I did a very stupid thing. I drank w-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y too much coffee yesterday and into the night. I don't know what I was thinking - if anything!

I'd gotten into a very bad habit of drinking about a pot a day due to the nightmare job. I'd already come to the realization that I wanted to cut it way back if not completely out. I'd been using it to maintain my focus in a very chaotic environment.

So last night, I went out with a friend and after having already had about a pot in the morning, I proceeded to have 2 urns full in the space of only 2 hours.

I've heard you can die of caffiene overload. Now I believe it. My heart was racing all night - or what was left of it, and as I said earlier, I got very little sleep. When I gave up and got up, I felt polluted and something akin to being hung over.

I tried to drink water - small sips were all I could tolerate, but I knew I needed it. I finally felt up to a simple fruit smoothie of oranges and a banana late this afternoon, and added blueberries to the mix this evening. I'm still working on it - what a way to throw yourself into a juice feast...

I was also reminded by Aleesha that I should do some self-healing with my reiki energy. duh! Why is it I seem to forget I have that attunement when it comes to my own personal needs?

Needless to say, I am feeling much better this evening. I'm still sipping my fruit smoothie, but I have also been cleaning our kitchen like a bean si! I live with 3 omnis in the house currently, and they don't seem to understand my need for counterspace or being able to get to my appliances. I get very discouraged having to dig out my vitamix or my food processor from a heaping pile of crap they've left behind. I also get vexed over not having any space on the counter or the table to even place my cutting board, let alone a plate!

I decided to go back to what brought me to the raw lifestyle in the first place...Storm and Jinjee's site, The Garden Diet. I always feel so at peace when I slow down and focus on that. I have a lot of crap to get straightened up after this past year's trials, but I am ready. I am ready to reclaim my home. I am ready to reclaim my serenity.

I long to do simple things - like go for a walk. Unfortunately, the damage to my hip hasn't completely healed, and everytime I think about doing any kind of exercize, it reminds me that it is there. Hopefully soon...